The more I practice going through life as an observer, the more I have been able to absorb and take in information about people, situations, most importantly, myself. I am or have been, the most pessimistic person ever to live (dramatic too). It’s actually frightening. So its funny to me that I would use words such as “hope”. I would say “fingers crossed” or “here’s hoping”.
Why would a pessimist rely on “here’s hoping”?
I have nothing against religion or personal beliefs. I believe every individual has the right to put their trust or belief in whatever being or higher power they want. If the goal is to care for others and yourself then I don’t care what friggin name you give it. I’m just grateful you have something to keep you going.
That being said, I’m pretty sure my definition of “miracle” might differ from the norm. I don’t feel a miracle is asking for something and then it just happens. A miracle to me is seeing someone with everything fighting against them, working hard and doing whatever it takes to beat the odds in spite of the pain and the hurt. That’s a friggin miracle.
A guest came into my job to visit me the other night, a kind soul who, after knowing for me for quite a few years, I felt comfortable enough to share my situation when they questioned my sudden time off.
I got the usual “how are you doing?”I replied with some generic b.s. answer. Some more awkward small talk, then those words came out of my mouth. “Here’s hoping”.
It was so in organic it was more nauseating than my Crohns symptoms, but as a bartender, you become accustomed to bullshit flying out your mouth.
That’s when my guest said these words to me that shook my soul and inspired this post.
My guest looked me in the eye and said: “Hope is not a strategy”.
I was shook.
I actually (for once) didn’t have a response. I asked permission to steal that and wrote it down in my order book so I wouldn’t forget.
It has been sitting with me since I watched the words float from their lips.
Hope is important. Staying positive is important. All the same, it comes down to mindset.
Mindset is step 1. Your mind has to be in the right place before anything else will work.
But having a positive attitude alone will not help without action.
If you wake up every day “hoping” you will get better, what is the action there? How does “hoping” accomplish anything?
It doesn’t because it is not a strategy.
What sounds better…
I hope I will get better soon
I WILL get better soon
Unless you are terrified of what happens when things do start to look up (that’s totally a thing and we’ll touch on that here) you should have obviously chosen the second one.
I WILL get better soon.
Make that your mantra. Say it every day you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. Say it when you’re about to lose your sh*t at work or when you’re debating crying yourself to sleep (come on, we’ve all done it). JUST SAY IT. Because hoping for change is not a strategy but BELIEVING sure friggin is.
Notice there’s no step 2?
That’s because there can’t be a step 2 until you master step 1. You WILL get better soon. You WILL accomplish your goals. Whatever it is, YOU WILL.
Now I’d tell you to swallow and digest that pill, but if you’re anywhere near my zip code I know that is a poor choice of words.
Take it in. Meditate on it. Write an angry journal post about how I know nothing and who am I to say that.
After you’ve allowed your brain to absorb all of its juicy goodness, Breath. And just know, YOU WILL.
“Step 2” – Action
Go here if you think you’re ready