I have completely exhausted myself by always being stressed out about being late. I wouldn’t even be late and I would still freak out. I’d set an alarm every 15 mins before I had to be up and every 15 mins until I’d have to leave. I’d freak out if slow people were in front of me, or holding hands taking up the width of the sidewalk, moms with strollers, people on their cell phones, etc.. Anything that got in my way would make me huff and puff and curse and push. I didn’t care who I knocked over In the process. It was New York City, learn to walk, you’re in my way. I would allow these minor inconveniences to bulldoze my entire day. Why? The result of this left me shaky, bitter, and with a pounding heart and sharp pains in my chest. When it got really bad, I would have a full-blown panic attack and immediately reach for the Xanax, all because their pace wasn’t as fast as mine.
So I stopped. I stopped running. I stopped pushing. I stopped (or am trying to) cursing and took a breath. The train I was spazzing out about catching had another one coming 8 mins after and another 5 mins after that. I slowed my pace, focused on my breath and relaxed. It isn’t the end of the world if you miss the first one. There will always be another train.
Many of us have this crippling anxiety stemming from not being where we thought we would be by a certain time. “I’m almost thirty and I’m not where I want to be in my career, I’m still living in a place I hate, I’m still single and all of my friends are getting married or already have children, I’m getting too old to have kids of my own, if I haven’t done it by now I never will.” I am personally guilty of this. In fact, it’s one of my biggest flaws.
Constantly comparing yourself to others or thinking you’re opportunity expired because another birthday has passed is the guaranteed way to ensure you do nothing of value the rest of your life. If you want it, do it. Someone else got the job instead of you, work harder. You think you can’t move away to your dream spot because you’re “too old”, I call bull. There will always be another train for you to jump on. You haven’t missed it you’re just taking the one that better fits your time table. Focus on you and your health. Stop. Take a breath. Then get your booty on your train!